Your story... is a lot like mine... and you feel exactly the way I do. Everything I pray for when it's for other people, get answered right away with the way they wanted. Me, I get nothing. I pray for many people's relationships to work, and bam, they work out as if it was immediately. I even prayed for my 15 year old cousin to make her decision of being straight rather than being bi-sexual, and then the next day she decided to be straight. Me praying for myself and my desires and hopes: NOTHING with a capital N. I have an ex that I am praying and praying and praying for over a year now to get back with me... but he has another girlfriend right now... yet I still hold myself from other guys until I have him back. You are not alone... you are a lot like me... I contemplated suicide many times... you though did something I couldn't and tried attempting it... I kind of wish I had more guts to do so, but I digress... My ex and I talked about getting married... having a future... children... It's been almost a year... and I still want him back... I also hold myself from other guys... and I don't really love myself either... I only want him, otherwise if he doesn't come back, I'm not going to love anyone. Because my heart is still set out for him and only him... I'll pray with you for our ex's to get back together again. And I really hope that God really hears us... and answer us just like the other people we have prayed for as well.

~Mel-S