My dear girl...much of what you are saying every Christian feels periodically. My Spiritual mentor use to call it a valley time...meaning that our lives...spiritual and otherwise have mountaintops and valleys...and as we mature we will have many, many valleys where we do not feel the euphoria of mountaintop experiences. When we first come to know Christ we are so excited...as the wonder of his word opens to us and as we see the impact of his promises in our lives...and then at some point we go into the valley...we know Him, we love Him and we know He loves us...but we still want this or that and if it doesn't come right away and or on the pace that we want and so life appears to us to feel mundane. We can become angry or hurt by the fact that our desires have not been answered...we can pout or as you suggest just feel empty...which is another way of saying we can feel that we should have something different and therefore life is just not worth it any more...and many of us do. Our God however is unchanging...He is the same as He was the first day we came into fellowship with Him...so what is the answer? Trust and love...love and more trust. Our Father needs to know from us that we will trust Him with our lives even if we NEVER get what it is that we ask for. He needs to know that we will be content with what He provides even if it is totally different from what we think we want. He needs to know that we LOVE him enough to push through the valley times...the valley of dry bones times to get back to the point of loving and trusting Him. We choose how we will feel believe it or not. We choose to accept and enjoy the small things of life or to experience discontent and unhappiness because we do not have what we want or who we want or the house we want. Please know that these things...including boyfriends and girlfriends as meaningful as they are can be distractions from what is really important...from the things of God. Until God can trust how we will respond to his timing or His will when it is different from what we want...He will not move to give us greater things or greater responsibility. Until we are right in Spirit...we are not ready for promotion to bigger things. Think of it this way...would your mother have allowed you to drive the family car if you had not learned to be responsible in riding your bike and putting it away at night so that it would not be left out in the elements to be ruined and rust ....or get taken by an opportunistic thief if left out in the park instead of being brought home? Most responsible parents would not. God is a perfect parent and He knows what we are ready for. Look at how you have been feeling over the past several months which began because of a young man who you wanted so much that you were putting yourself through torment even though he demonstrated himself to be irresponsible and insensitive to you. Look at how you were hurting and angry and just emotionally on a roller coaster. God knows where you are developmentally. How would you handle having a husband who lost his job and you and he had to face the pressure of losing your home or wondering how you were going to feed your children? This happens often to couples in this world...are you ready to deal with this if you cannot deal with your feelings over a relationship that never even really got off the ground? You have to learn to push through the valleys dear one...and God will know when you are ready! Until then...work on your relationship with the Father and the Son...work on trusting Them...work on loving Them and showing it even when you do not feel like it through prayer and study. They have never wronged you and never will. Love is a decision...not a feeling both toward God and toward other human beings. If we cannot love and trust the Creator through all things...how will we love men or women who are imperfect and will do things to hurt us even when they do not mean to and sometimes on purpose? Earn your promotion to bigger and better things by trusting God and loving Him actively...by loving the life He has given to us...and all He has provided.

Father...help this young woman to think on these things and understand them. Let he who has ears...Hear. In Jesus name...Amen!