The short story (still long) – I committed a crime & I cheated on my girlfriend 3 months after our 1st child was born. I lied to her. I did jail time & was removed from our home. For 2 years she stood by me as I blamed the system then I cheated on her again. I blamed her for things & saw only her faults. I decided I would never do it again & I wanted my family. I did more jail time. We had another child. I told her about the 2nd time I cheated. She left me & told me when the courts allowed us to be a family she would consider it. Last week she said she found someone else. Almost 5 years since this began. My children are almost 5 & just turned 1.

I hurt her, took her for granted, abused her good nature & loving character. I used her faults for excuses & to justify my actions. I verbally abused her out of anger, fear, & frustration last week for the 1st time ever… I didn’t know I was capable of that. All this has ruined us financially. I used her & I don’t deserve her. She deserves happiness. I am angry that I am not the one that is making her happy anymore & instead I am the one that makes her unhappy. I want to be the person that makes her happy again. The person she thinks about all day & can’t wait to see.

I would let her go if I could so she could be happy. The thing is I believe God gave us 2 beautiful children & wants us to be together. I don’t believe God does that to people – even though it is such common place today.

Please pray that we get through our suffering, that we can be a family. That she can find it in her heart to forgive me one last time & that I can find the strength to resist the lust of the flesh. Please pray that we both open our eyes & hearts to the emotion, needs, & feelings of the other & that we truly do become one flesh. Pray that we open our hearts & they be softened for each other & our eyes open to Gods plan for us. Please pray that we find away to be together & be a successful family.

Thank you.
Cameron