I have heard many times of men being hurt by a woman and using it as an excuse to escape responsibility and commitment. Why buy the cow when the milk is free? You are trapped by your love for this man and he is the one in complete control. If you want God's blessings than obey his will for marriage and sexual purity. It takes a huge act of courage to take the narrow road. You know where the narrow road leads. I pray that God will give you the strength to trust God's law and obey it. It will be the greatest reward you could ever ask for or expect. I am not condemming you. I feel that you have been caught us is his issues. Be strong and courageous, do not be terrified. Take a stand for Jesus and you will reap a harvest of joy and rewards. I pray that you will have a marriage made in heaven and blessed by God according to his will for your life. I know that this is a harsh reality but maybe it is time to step up to the plate and put your foot in the water.