adoring1 Wrote:I pray that his heart will open, and I pray that he will be led to the Lord...and if it is you that the Lord chooses to use...I pray that this will also be what happens...but what I know is that you have to allow the Lord to open the door for that to happen and while you may not have been pure in your motives from what you suggest...God has not yet opened that door in a way that allows true witnessing to occur by you. I share that because I truly believe this is important to you...but you must understand that God knows when and how this may be accomplished...and it may not be you that he chooses to use. I pray if you are the one called upon to do this service to the Lord that you will do it well and with a purity of heart and purpose...and I believe if that is the case you will.

I want however to draw your attention to something...you say that your feelings for this man, your personal desires are destroying you...and you want to be made stronger. I need to ask that you consider that so much exposure to this man is not allowing you to heal...to move on with your life. It is a little like having an open wound and rubbing salt into it. The pain is tremendous and the wound does not heal under those conditions. I know you are torn between this man's salvation and the pain that being around him...knowing he is seeing others causes you...but I must suggest the old adage, physician heal thyself, is very appropriate here. Being sad all of the time does no one any good...especially you...and sometimes you need to back away from a thing for an extended period of time to totally heal and move beyond its grip. You have to do what you have to do...and it is clearly your decision...but clearly this has been going on for a while now and your feelings are still causing you pain and will until you are able to totally let go of your feelings for this man.

Father, please strengthen this young woman and give her peace. Help her to let go of the longing feelings for this young man. She knows that he is not the right choice for her...that he is too immature for a meaningful relationship but she still hurts because it is not she that he has chosen. Please help her to make good choices that will enhance her well being as to what level she should engage in interaction with him. Father lead whomever it is that you wish to witness to him...in your timing and in your wisdom. Father let him be open to receiving the gift of salvation and soon. Father please bless both of these young people with your wisdom and by your grace work things out in the way that is in the center of your will. In Jesus name...Amen!

I definately agree. I need to think a little more for myself at the time. I've been trying to focus on my studies (which are not up to my usual par) and trying to catch up on everything. I'm by no means failing or anything drastic...however, I am not doing as well as I normally do. So, I've been concentrating on that. My mother also brought up the point that sometimes we don't know why God is doing what He's doing, but we are to know that there's a reason behind it. My mom says that God can do what seems impossible to us. The impossibilty in my case is seeing him saved--I know that it can happen, I'm just not sure how...I guess that's why God does that for me. lol

I'm trying to enjoy the fact that he is my friend as well. It turns out that his girlfriend ended up being at the get together that we had. Although they kissed and stuff, I got through it without crying or being upset--at least not until on the way home. I handled my hurt without having a total meltdown, which is a HUGE improvement, I believe. Tonight, there are some friends coming into town and I don't know what's in store tonight. I think that the Lord will bless it as He blessed me last night--in spite of my being upset about the girlfriend, I was still able to share laughs with him and there are things I can glean from my experience.

Perhaps I'm simply just too negative. I think I've complained more than counted my blessings. No--we're not together and I'm stuck being in love with someone who is not in a relationship with me--but, we I think of the friend I do have...that's pretty special. There are certain things that the Lord blessed me with that I wouldn't change for the world. I just hope to have my friend truly restored in the Lord...and I hope that he matures so that he can have the life God intends for him.

I thank you for your consideration of me. I think that giving myself space this week helped--I really miss him, but he's not out of my life. I'm sure we'll get together and have fun and I think counting my blessing rather than my hurts would cheer up my heart.

Thank you for your prayers. Just continue to pray for us--our individual needs. I appreciate it.