adoring1 Wrote:Mel, when I read this I almost cried myself...I almost cried because I know the pain you are feeling...and I know the sorrow that is in your heart. But you need to understand some things...God wants to save this young man. He wants it far more than you do...His desire is to see no-one lost...but it is not God's decision...it is the young man's. The Spiritual Law that He created will not allow Him to override this young man's free will...and that is why it is so important to pray for his salvation but as a singular focus. Until that is done...until that is accomplished...God has no other things in his heart for this young man. God is far less concerned with who he marries than if he goes to hell for eternity. And it is this young man's choice. I want to point out some things to you that I have learned from your posts. I do this so that you can see how much effort God is putting into trying to take the scales from this young man's eyes.

He fought in Afghanistan...one of the most dangerous war theaters since Vietnam and God brought him home alive. Many, many did not make it...they came home in caskets draped with flags and many were not saved. Many soldiers who had this experience came to the Lord in the Field...others when they returned home. My son-in-law was a career man...and fought in many theaters and became a Chaplin in the ARMY before he retired and has shared many of these stories with my daughter and me. It is how he himself came to the Lord as a young man.

He has PTSD...but it is not severe enough to be hospitalized...many men and women who have this type of trauma develop trauma induced schizophrenia which is very, very serious...others develop psychotic breaks and end up in mental wards for life. With long term therapy...your ex has a good chance at recovery...so you can see God's hand again. But so far your ex is not listening. He has hardened his heart to the Lord...and God cannot do anything but continue to turn up the heat on him...to encourage him to make the choice. I do not know if he stands to be re-deployed or not because trust me there will be another war theater soon...but if he does Mel...he could truly be in danger of losing his life and going the way of the lost...forever. If you really love him...please for his sake leave your EROS love for him until a later time...move into Agape...love him like God does...and pray for his salvation day and night. God loves you Mel...but he also loves this man...and prayers that are self serving do not please God...they will not move him...I want to ask that you read God's word about love...below I hope you gain something from it...When God speaks of these things he is addressing love as He sees it...the kind in which He takes interest...Agape love...In these passages...he is actually describing His Son Jesus the Christ...He is not interested or concerned with EROS...please think on these things...I pray that God will mend up your heart and show you how to walk with Him in less pain and less anxiety...and allow you to develop a healthier focus for your life for now. It is dangerous to your own mental health and emotional well being for you to remain this distraught for as long as you have. I pray with all my heart that he reaches this young man...and that this young man will listen...and open his heart to the Living God for himself...for his eternal well being. God bless you Mel...wait on the Lord.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. (1 Corinthians 13:4-13) In Jesus name...Amen!

I guess that's all I can do... I love him so much... so much I don't want him to go to hell... I don't want him to suffer anymore... I still claim myself as his future wife... and I still want him to come to the Lord... I have no choice but to pray for his salvation day in and day out... but what if God doesn't get to him...? What if Satan has hardened his heart forever...? There are many people who have lived their lives and never got saved... as if no one has prayed for their salvation...

I don't even remember exactly HOW I got saved... I remember it was my 17th birthday... and me, my dad and my mom were at Walmart... we were at the parking lot in the car about to go home... until my dad's pacemaker kicked in... he wasn't responding... I was frantic... we called an ambulance from that parking lot... the EMTs that were on the phone with her, my mom, were telling her how to check for his pulse... his pulse at first wasn't there... at all... Me, I was crying outside of the car, "Why God WHY?! Why today of all days!? WHY!?" After 25 seconds, what I thought was my dad's pacemaker, kicked in again, and that time revived him... Long story short, when we got to the hospital, and Dad was recovering, the doctors told me and my mom that according to the pacemaker check... dad was actually dead for 25 seconds before the pacemaker kicked in again. He flatlined for 25 seconds... then his heart suddenly kicked in again... it wasn't the pacemaker that did it... his heart kicked in a beat which revived him... my mom after that explained to me, God saved his life... I don't remember exactly most of the day between that, but I remember I was crying on my mother's shoulder... thanking God... and I may not remember exactly what happened afterwards, but I got saved that day... Maybe God got to me (and my father who got saved that day too) by reviving my father after a 25-second death. I don't know if my mother ever prayed for my salvation... maybe she did or didn't, I don't know... but God saved my dad... and saved me too... on my 17th birthday.

I'm hoping God can save my ex with such an impact like He did me. Not to wish any harm upon him or anything, God knows I don't want that to happen, but to get him to Him with such an impact like my salvation... I dunno how He's gonna do it... but I know he will... He surely saved me because... well... I knew some God existed... but I never was a Christian. You could say... I was Agnostic too. I don't know what to call myself back then, someone who didn't understand who God was or who Jesus was, and I didn't know if He was real or not... my mom read scriptures from the Bible when I was a little girl... I thought they were just bedtime stories... even when I was 10-11-12 years old... I knew a God existed... but I didn't know He was THE God Mom believed in. It's kind of confusing... but that's how I got saved... and I really really realllllly want him saved... I love him... I love him so much... and I'm going to wait on his salvation... so we both can reconcile in a blessed way... I really want that... I really do.