Today I cried and talked to God about me and my exboyfriend and my family... I still want him to be saved... and for him to be back together with me and for the both of us to be the couple He intended us to be... I still want him to be my husband... I feel I cannot accept anyone else, you know. I feel he is the one... and can be the one and more once he comes to Christ... Sometimes I feel God is just sitting around, watching me cry, and shaking his head as if saying "Keep crying and praying; it just won't happen." But God is not like that. At least I hope He's not... I prayed desperately for God to save my ex... and to save our relationship; to mend it to where it once was... the relationship me and my ex had was magical... then within a blink of an eye it all fell apart... and I don't know whether I'll ever get that back... but I know God can do the impossible... And He did say we will receive whatever we ask for in prayer... and God does not lie, so it HAS to be true right...? I prayed to God for him to save my exboyfriend, then to reunite us and reconcile our relationship so our relationship can be more blessed than ever and more. I felt like I doubted that would happen for a second... but I asked God to forgive me if I doubted that one second... I don't want to doubt... because when I do, the prayer is canceled... And I have to ask again and try not to doubt again... I don't know what to do... I prayed the prayer like this:

"God... I don't know if anyone have prayed this prayer before... but this is what I am asking of you... I ask of you... to save my exboyfriend and mold him into the husband you intended him to be... for me. I may not be perfect, and this prayer may not have been the perfect prayer, but please... save my ex... save our relationship... not just a mere friendship, but the romantic relationship me and him once had... we even thought about getting married... Lord, I still want to marry this man... this man is the one I want to have... this is the man I feel I am destined to marry... I cannot accept anyone else... That may seem selfish, but it's true. My heart is for this man... and this man only. Please Lord... send my ex a message, a dream, a person/angel, a vision; something, ANYTHING to have him come to You... and then to ME... the one calling out to him, his future wife; ME. Let him know... his future wife, I, am still waiting for him... I will accept him with open arms and heart again... Please Lord... I believe You can do it... You have the power to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, Nothing is impossible with You! In Jesus name... please... please make it so... help me and him... quickly... Attach the detachment from his heart once again... and have my last name changed to his in matrimony... in Jesus name I pray... Amen."

That's all I prayed... seems like a uncommon prayer... but it's how I feel right now... and I'm crying as I typed that too... I love this man so much... I would give anything to have him back... and I still want to have him as part of our family... and to bring this family together forever more... That's all I want... Amen.