Everyone has their secrets and habits. I have mine and it’s been going on for 12 yrs now. I am addicted to masturbation. This is the first time I am letting out my what has been inside me for so long. To this day I have never told anybody. I started masturbating since I was 7 or 8 yrs old. I have been humping couches and beds or anything I could find then. It became more compulsive from the 6th grade onwards and since then I have never stopped. Sometimes I wonder what I could have become if I hadn’t indulged in masturbation. I blame masturbation for my mood swings and my fears and insecurity, I blame masturbation for my depression, for my speech impediment, my backache that I’ve been experiencing for the last two years now, my shivering, and I believe it’s done more damage to my nervous system then I believe. This is my biggest obstacle in life. It has become a part of my life and I keep wondering of the man I could have been or what I could have achieved or the hypocrisy I wouldn’t have to feel every time I look at myself in the mirror.

I remember the first time I really gave my best effort to try to stop and that was in the winter of 2004, when i was in the 8th grade. I went without masturbating for 3 days and I felt so much joy. It is been imprisoning me time and time again. I really want to stop, it has been my stumbling block, my dirty little secret, my addiction. I am ashamed of my habit and I thought the best way to stop was to write and express. Every time I go on without masturbating I find myself happier, free and being able to reach my potential. I am simply free...And I want to be free....this is my journey, if you are reading this, please pray for my struggle, please please pray for me.Amen[/font]

Thank you for your support.