In 1 Tim God says to stir up the gift within you. When things becme uncomfortable it can be God is pushing us out of that area towards newer pastures. Over 30 years you have clearly gained talents and gifts. What would you really love to do? Special ed is demanding and you will have been a blessing to others during that time. Maybe now God is saying come out of that and start sth else. In Isaiah He says, Behold, I make all things new, shall yet not know it. God makes streams of water in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
He also says "There remaineth a rest to the people of God." Take a well earned rest, be it for two days or a week. Go somewhere relaxing and refresh your soul. As you find sth you enjoy doing your joy will come back and the friend will come. As you acknowledge Him He will direct your path. You will hear that still small voice and the peace of God which passes all understanding shall guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. Do not give up. There is rest for the weary. He is the lifter up of your head and through the encouragements of people on this board He wts to tell you we may be geographically too far to offer friendship but that people are taking time out to encourage you He wts you to know He cares and He has not forgotten you. You are engraved on the palms of His hands.: