Maybe I'm just being a typical teen, I don't know. Lately (last two or so weeks) I've been arguing with Mum, had no patience with siblings, getting mad and upset with parents. I know this isn't right, I know I'm meant to be honoring God and my parents with my words, actions and thoughts. I just can't seem to follow through!
Lord, it's all head knowledge, I know what I'm meant to be doing but I can't feel you in my life, helping me do it. I feel like you're so far away right now. What am I doing on this site, praying for other people, when I am so messed up right now? WHY do I feel like you are so far away? I wish my knowledge of you would fall from my head to my heart. I don't want to be so wrapped up in knowing the rituals I am meant to perform, to be a "good little Christian," I want to be a child of you, walking with you, talking with you, holding your hand and experiencing you as you guide me and teach me. Why are you so far removed from my heart at the moment? Why am I constantly crying and sad and yelling at my Mum, my brothers and sisters? Why am I jumping at the chance to get away from my family? Why am I letting my heart get all tangled up with thinking about Chris all the time when I know it would be a mistake to get involved with him anyway, especially at my age? Why am I hardly spending any time reading the Bible and praying? WHY is this happening and how can I change it? Please come back to me, Lord.
I am sorry this post was so long. Please, can you just spare a minute to put in a quick word of prayer for me. I really feel at my wit's end.
Thank you so much.
Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
