God I believe in you. I believe that I have to wait because you are working for the life you want for me. but Lord God I love Alan. if there's anything I can do to make him stay in my life please tell me. please take away the pain I have in my heart. please restore the love he had for me. I know you are listening Lord. please don't let our love end like this. please don't let our love end. I know I've done my mistakes in the past but I regret every wrong things. please I ask for your forgiveness. I set him free believing that one day he'd come back. I believe in you God please help me. PLEASE. I know you had your reasons because you gave him to me when I needed someone and I didn't know and I wasn't searching that time but he came and I realized I needed to be loved by someone like him. the happiest days of my life was being with him. and I appreciate everything. I love you god but there is also this one person one person you made in this world that I can't bare to lose. I can't live wihout. please Lord help me open up he's eyes and see. please show him that I am still growing and that we still have a life together. please lead he's path back to me. I am willing to change all my bad ways. I LOVE YOU GOD AND I LOVE HIM. PLEASE.