Before anything I want to thank you for your prayers as I am trying to figure out some tough situations in my life. I am thankful for my health, the roof over my head, my family, and the life God has blessed me with.

That being said, I feel like I am losing my mind because I feel like I don’t know what God wants me to do when it comes to certain people in my life. I tend to love hard and forgive with an open heart but I believe I purposely overlook certain qualities in my relationships that are not right. Sometimes I believe it is because of comfort or the fact that I love them so much. I fear for my future husband and marriage. I fear that I am investing time into a relationship that is set to destroy my character. I constantly ask God to give me a sure way sign so I can leave without feeling confused. I’m only 24. I daydream about having a beautiful marriage one day and a healthy home but the man I am with shows many signs of narcissism. Everyone in my life tells me to leave him. Sometimes I wonder if God himself told me to leave him, if I would actually do it. I just ask for clarity. I don’t have any friendships I can talk to about prayer and about God and I wish I did. If you are married, how did you know someone was or wasn’t for you? I don’t want to ruin God’s plan for my life by loving a man who is so far away from Him but I also don’t want to judge his path when I was the same one year ago. I want God to save him. I want him to see how much better life is with God. As of now, I do believe I’ve been falling into old habits because of the company I keep. I don’t blame them, I hold myself accountable for my actions. I feel like I have disappointed many people. I have disappointed God to the point sometimes I don’t feel worthy of being in his presence and it hurts so much because I know it’s not true. I feel like I have failed so many times even after he showed me how great He is. I am scared because I want a beautiful future and somehow keep falling into a circle of people who are not in the same path. I pray that God still sees me and knows that I am sorry if I keep getting in the way of his purpose for my life. I don’t know what I am doing and even when I know better, I mess it up.