I can be reactive too. What has helped me is this- I made a decision about where my loyalty lies. My loyalty is to the Lord and no matter how unfairly I may be treated will I remain faithful to his ways... Not reacting in anger but giving these wounds to him for healing. Not retaliating be cause then we act the same as our enemies and we let Satan win. Staying away as much as possible from those who trigger me. Being proactive instead of reactive. I've been there and I understand. I want to grow. I pray for your healing and growth. He is merciful and He is The Great Healer. Praise You Lord for all things are possible with You.