I prayed so hard last night I sobbed. I couldn't fall asleep. I need help so bad I don't know what to do. Things have gotten so much worse. I feel like I'm going to crawl out of my skin I am so nervous of the thought that so many bills are due. I got a disconnect notice from the electric company- I only have a few days to pay. I have other bills that are late and I don't think that my health insurance payment that I made on Friday went through- I won't be able to verify this for a few days. If that is the case it will be cancelled and they will not re-instate it due to my health conditions. I feel absolutely awful as I told a lie to my mother today. I pray for the Lord's forgiveness.

In addition to everything a childhood friend whose family was like a second to me, told me that her father collapsed the other day and has been in the hospital. My own father has been stricken with such terrible neck pain that he cannot even move his neck to drink out of a cup. He will not be able to work like this and no one knows why its happening. I am beside myself with grief, fear, and uncertainty. I pray that the Lord help me quickly. I'm a mess. I can't go on like this. Please pray that things get better and quickly. Pray that the Lord lead me in the right direcetion. Pray that the Lord bless us with the finanaces to pay all of our bills- to get caught up on the late ones and keep up on the others. I feel paralized by fear and it's preventing me from taking action. I don't know of any steps I can take to make any thing better right now.