Hi Jordan. I am sorry you are feeling that way.
I don't know much about antidepressants, but I know they sometimes take time to work, and can even make things seem worse at first.
I hope you are getting counseling as well, since pills alone have little effect. (You seem to still have some strong signs of depression).
Maybe you should talk to your doctor in case the dose needs to be changed or you need to try a different kind of meds?

May God intervene in your life and give you insight into how you push people away, and the strength to fight it,
and may He equip your friends to help you through this. I hope it gets better for you.