My name is Jordan. Im 34 year old christian man and I have been depressed most of my adult life. I have no friends and the only reason I get up in the morning is for work. I push people away from me and I shut myself off to the world. I pray every single day to be better and yet I still push people away. I finally went on anti depressant pill but I still push people away. I believe in God and know he is the father of all. And it is sad to me that I am like this. I read the bible and was baptised and I am confirmed beliver. People say I am a good person and yet I am alone all the time. I don't find any pleasure in life anymore and I feel trapped. I pray all the time for help from god. I am scared. I do not know what to do anymore. I get panic attacks and I just ruined another possible friendship tonight. I am crying and I cannot breath. Why god why father Jesus .
Please someone anyone I need help. Pray pray pray.

Father God I am crying to you physically mentally emotionally sprituialy. I need you god please seek my heart and hear my cry. I need you