I love GOD but i feel it in my heart, my soul he has forsaken me

I have been unemployed for 5.5yrs now, I applied for so many job, asked and even begged so many people and friends still nothing

A pastor told me, "God has something really great and wonderful installed for you" , my reply "Sure that is why after 5.5yrs GOD is still busy working on this , tell me how would you as a man, huband, father feel not being able to find a job for the last 5.5yrs...no income...living off your partner like a begger and looser " ...i walked away

hard to believe GOD loves me, really hard