Please pray -my mother can switch according to her moods. She is often dismissive and insulting. Through the years I moved on but I suppose the pain of childhood wounds never went away. I know this because now-even though I am an adult-when she hurts me it cuts deep -its like a trigger for all the pain. She is not all the time like this- she is often nice- but my problem is I keep trusting her again and then I get hurt. When I try to talk about it - she just dismisses or me or listens for a minute or two and says-"that's enough now."the reason I want to discuss it is because i want to improve the relationship. Also she chooses my brother over me- even when she knows he is wrong.. I am disappointed with myself for reacting and raising my voice- my relationship to God is affected when I do this and I want to behave as He wants me too - I hate when I end up yelling. I wish I would not react to the triggers. I am thankful for the good things about her and what she did for me as a mother in other ways. However she is now elderly- I would like this relationship to be healed as life is short- but she is not interested in talking about it properly.
I want to love and forgive her fully but I am tired of being hurt. I am not a perfect daughter but I want to live as God wants me to live even if she brushes me off.
Please pray for complete healing and for the grace to help her out without feeling the sting of these wounds- that I will receive wisdom in all this and be delivered from my reactive nature to such things. That if it comes to my mothers final days-that I will be in peace knowing I repented and pleased God in all this. She believes in God but maybe she does not want to grow spiritually. I know I am a sinner in
all this also. Please pray. Thank you