Been praying for direction and help in what to do; today the assistant pastor's wife came over in church and told me my mother told her I was looking for a job and I said yes but I really needed something more than minimum wage but wasn't sure what to do. I said I don't have stomach for for blood and guts, didn't know if I should do anything with typing (office) since I was bad at it years ago and didn't know if I should risk going to school and taking out grants and maybe student loans and finding out I still stink at typing and a job where you have to do a lot of typing (medical billing, coding, office stuff etc?) and be stuck playing back loan, dropping out, being heartbroken. Things I like don't seem practical, no 9 to 5, weekends or too old, maybe close to minimum wage. It's just hard to decide what to do; I'm the type of person that analyzes things and has a hard time making big decisions but if I don't do something soon I will do nothing at all and as I've said before time, age, isn't on my side. I told the woman my mother wanted me to go apply for jobs at the hospital and nursing home working in the kitchen since I like to cook or actually bake when she buys a car for me to get out and get a job since the buses aren't so hit here and neighborhood not so safe. I told her those jobs are probably minimum wage or maybe you need some kitchen training? Anyway, the lady told me if I want she could take me up to the community college so I could talk to someone in financial aid office to see what my options are; if I'm eligible since I'm not divorced yet and stbx (hoping soon) still pays bills although he lives next door and how much $ I would get from grants if eligible and or student loan? Don't even know if there is still Guaranteed Student Loan it's been years and I paid for my classes at Community college when I went years ago out of pocket, didn't have to go full time. I always avoided college math, science and Speech classes since I'm afraid if those classes. I'm a wimp. Maybe someone there can possibly help me figure out which way to go career wise, I'm lost. Trade schools are pretty expensive. I know I will never make tons of money and a career isn't supposed to be center if ones life but I can't afford to live in minimum wage without some miracle and can't depend on ex to pay bills forever; he's behind on bills (he doesn't pay total balance) and total electric bill for our house is over $600 plus other bills. He doesn't make a bad living with his pay and monthly bonuses but paying mortgage here plus bills and paying utilities for him and girlfriend next door plus I know in past he doesn't have mortgage in house next door but was behind on taxes and his car still needs inspected since June 1st and something is wrong with his Kia soul now after having about three years he must be right with money. We really can't afford a car but we really can't afford not to have a car either unless other people give us rides and the buses around here get a lot better and we don't have a social life either, lol. If my husband didn't have two houses to pay for he could afford kids more but he isn't home at night with job and his girlfriend seems to avoid our son, don't know how that would be either having her watching my kids and being with them maybe five days a week and me visitations. I just really need things to change and get better hopefully. I hope this woman at church is God's way of helping me because I really don't have anyone else to help me.