Worshipper, you have not sincerely repented and give your body, soul, spirit, mind and emotion to God our Creator through our Lord Jesus Christ. You are not a born-again christian, that is why you feel the way you do. Repent and give everything to God. Trust and believe. You are a catholic. Read King James Bible and ask the Holy Spirit to give you revelation. You cannot call yourself a worshiper when you are complaining to God. Your unbelief is the reason for everything that is happening in your life. Repent and rejoice. Choose heaven or hell. JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY TO THE FATHER.