K, you did not say ur mother in law is a Christian and ur age, but being led to the Bible is the first step God has led you to Him. Be faithful, prayerfully breathing in and out as you read and pray about what God is telling you daily. Others have waited much longer, others have adopted unwanted children... whatever ur led to, may God bless. Isa. 40.31 CSB... but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.