Im losing my grip on my sanity I am trying to hold it together, I've been hospitalized twice before because of mental break downs. I am in college now and I'm struggling to pay for school my transportation to and from school I work a minimum age job can't come across anything that pays better thats legal. my family is dysfunctional a ex con step dad with a serious cocaine addiction and my mother who will fund him before she feeds us. I am 21 year old female doing everything to get out of this home I went away to college even but I had to come back home because I could not afford to take out any more loans in my cosigners name. I am so emotionally drained that I feel ill, my heart is giving me chest pains constantly crying always stressing about money and how to get out and how i am going to cope when school comes back in session. I am so terribly miserable we are a family of 8 6 kids all have different fathers living in a 2 bedroom apartment in a bad area in NY, there are mice bed bugs and roaches infested in this apartment building it is pure hell living here , what ever I work for it is stolen never any food, i have anxiety and depression, so hard to maintain any friends due to how my family situation is it is so embarrassing I try to counter act it but i am oppressed daily. Sometimes I don't eat well And i notice changes in my health I can't deal with this any more I have one more year of school I still need text books i used my credit card to purchase them I'm not even making enough to pay them off in time!, I'm trying to find a way out thinking of even a homeless shelter I've lived in one before it was so traumatic i am scared to go back there but living here is really getting to me. I need a way out I just want to live somewhere where I feel safe , where it is warm where I can study peacefully and not have to be attacked my rodents. I just turned 21 In my 4th year of college I am really trying hard to make it but I need help Im so tired of this my whole life with this dysfunctional family I don't want to ever see them again! I don't know what to do! please pray that i can have a way out PLEASE I can't deal with this any more.