God, how could I have done this? I do not still understand. Fear is said to be the opposite of love, and i am indeed so afraid, so fearful of my sins and do not know how to love. How to make up for the yrs i have been neglectful of family's needs, not feeling their pain. And now i am hurting badly. Forgive me, God, have mercy on us all for the chains of wrong instead of the ripples of love i should have started. I can only plead forgiveness.