never even read anything before hand but here goes

dear lord my mother who has had MS for 20 years and is wheel chair bound is dying from incurable cancer at the age of 50 with days to go my father an alcoholic committed suicide when i was 12 my brother was put in care when i was to young to be able to understand and unable to protect him from things he experienced, I am of a family of 6 siblings and we experienced more violence refuges and hardship then any one should experience in 10 lifetimes yet all of us still stand albeit spread across the land not all talking but all drawn towards the last thing which will hold us joint together.
I have found an escape through drink and drugs which i haven't been able to admit maybe a problem,
Dear lord if there is anyone there I need a sign because i feel so tired of this life if i am being punished in some way surely my debt is paid surely my mother deserved more decency then this pain and suffering.

Dear lord please allow my mother to pass with out pain and suffering and do as you will to me on my knees i beg of you to allow this women one piece of dignity and you can do with me as you will.

WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!!!