I think that maybe it could be wrong in others eyes that I've started to pray at a time when only things have gone wrong, but at this moment in time I can't afford think like that.

I think that I am/could be pregnant very soon but I'm hoping to god that I'm not. I think I'm in denial, It's been a few weeks and I don't have the guts to actually check to see if I am pregnant. Every day there are moments where it pops into my head but then I do my best to block out my worries and the emotions that come with it.

I have a boyfriend who loves me. I know I might be judged when I say this but he already has a child that he needs to be there for no matter how distant they are. I love him enough to know that he would be heart broken to find that I was pregnant. I love him in that I wouldn't tell him about my pregnancy if it was to happen, I could never put him through that.

I have a family that may love yet they are not the type to understand me as a person. I want to tell them about my day and my problems but I've built myself a wall against them and in return I've been frozen out. I want to tell my Mum that I need help and that I could be pregnant but for now I just want someone out there to here me and my prayers; I hope that I'm not pregnant and I'm sorry to all of those who are in the same predicament as me.