Trin, please don't be weary darling. God knows everything that goes on in your life even before you typed this post. Don't you know that the Holy Spirit is your witness? Believe me, you will have a surprise at the end that you could comprehend beyond your thoughts of how you end up there. Right now God the Father is still refining and taking all the lumps in your spirit. As I'm reading your post, I thought it was me writing it and I have gone through worst. Just remember, keep praying for those people who come against you. It is not you, it is Jesus in you. Remember those people because you will meet them later in life asking you for help because God will bless you so much that it's more than enough to help your whole neighborhood. This is what the Holy Spirit told me. The Holy Spirit has been talking to you but you were not able to hear Him because you are more concerned about your problem. Give it all to you Him; TRUST, BELIEVE, FAITH, & WAIT. REJOICE & GLORIFY THE FATHER THROUGH OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST. AMEN. I am jumping in joy for you already. Smile Trin darling, God is smiling at you and He wants you to smile WITH Him.