Lola, I pray in the Name of Jesus that He would reveal to you just how much He loves you! When you feel like doing this think on the price that God paid in sending His only Son to this awful earth just for you. Would you give your son to be killed in such an awful manner for people that hated you? No, none of us would but that's how much He values us and loves us. Can't we value ourselves and see that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit now? Would you cut the Holy Spirit? No, I know you wouldn't because I believe you love the Lord. Would you desecrate the Lord's temple? Of course you wouldn't, but that is what you are letting yourself do when you cut yourself. Please in the Name of Jesus who loves you ask Him to deliver you from this. This is from the evil one who wants to destroy you. Everyone has lots of stress now as we are living in the last days before the coming of the Lord but you can't go on doing this. May you find His true Shalom and rest in Him when things get rough. Love from your sister in Christ.