Please help me followers of Christ. This is rather embarrassing, and i wouldn't ask for your help or prayer request unless it was really desperate.
I'm a Christian and have prayed the sinners prayer to become a Christian since a young age as I was raise in a Christian family. However as the years grew and I went to middle school, I began to have many doubts about Christ and grew further away from him in my weakest time. I learnt from my classmates about masturbation as some talked openly about it and i admit before that I also had sinful things related to that like very sinful thoughts and evil thoughts that i don't feel to talk about. But after hearing about masturbation from my classmates i tried it once thinking it would be just one time. But after that things got worse, i tried to stop because every time after i did it I felt a strong guilt about it, something was probing me to stop. And i tried a few times, but it only got worse until eventually I didn't even bother to pray about my sin for lust and masturbation because i prayed it so many times it didn't became sincere anymore. But after that low things began to get a bit better but i don't remember why. But yet again about a month later, my addiction came back and at 14 I keep having an erge to do so. I read many articles about stopping and about masturbation and many said it was alright part of growing up that it was healthy but as a Christian I know that it is a sin, and sadly I haven't been able to drop it. From there many other sins came, because of my guilt i would pray and make promises to my self and to god about stopping but only to do it again the next week. It's just really hard to explain my situation and how stray from god i feel, and how far off I am. And today i just had to ask for prayers, for i know i can't stop this with my own will power, and in the bible i believe somewhere it said that prayers in group are good. And so i ask everyone reading today to pray for my soul and my life that I may return to god, for i fear that he may completely give up on me and hand me over to Satan. Because i know just as merciful and loving as god is he also has a great sense of justice and punishment i also remember listening once somewhere before that if you constantly sin and ignore that voice of god that you will be lost to Satan. I do not want that to happen, and i truly want to break this addiction and this stronghold that is leading so many other sins into my life. Recently I had a terrible nightmare and in a half conscious stat i made a promise or swear on my life to god to stop masturbating. I know that wasn't wise but i just has such a strong fear in my heart at that time because it was a dream about god signing my soul to the devil. And 5 days later today i again didn't resist the temptation and gave into masturbating, i feel terrible and i just can't describe the low i am in right now and the sins i have committed.I know Jesus is the only way to heaven and that he paid for my sins through his death on the cross where he rose 3 days later but I just feel a distance from god and a wall in my heart and soul. And i fear that god have given me up, i know this makes no sense, but i'm just feeling so far and so off from god like my salvation has been loss. I just beg you all to Pray for my salvation and my life, that god in his love will have mercy and hold on tightly to me, to guide my path and life and to forgive me once more. And that I will forever change that I will break this strong hold and come back to him and be used by him to help others.

I am sorry for the long note but it's really hard to express it, I really feel loss and away from god, and this addiction has gotten the better of me, it has lead me to many places I did not want to venture. Once in a low time, I kept doubting about god and about Christ and the bible. Please Please Help and pray for me. Please pray for me, I am just such at a lost from this thing about masturbation and lust and sinful thoughts. And i hate being such a sinner and I truly want to change, This is the biggest stronghold of my life, I am too embarrass to tell my parents or people around me, but I hope that this community and fellowship will pray for me to break my addiction and to forgive my sins, also to give me the courage to approach my parents to talk about it and what to say.

Thanks,
A Lost Sinner