You need to study the Bible and you will find what God's will for you. It is all in the Word of God which is the living Bible. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to surrender all to the Father. He will help if you ask Him. God has not left you, you left Him. But you must keep it in your heart that God is always there with you, you just failed or don't know how to listen to His voice. Our Father in heaven is a forgiving God if you repent of all your sins to Him. God bless you. Jesus loves you.