May God give you the strength while going through this trial in your life. Just seek spiritual guidance from your church and family. Don't shut people out. Pray always. God loves us and will never leave us. Hold on to your faith. Never let go! God promises to take care of us. He will never leave us. Praise Him always, even when you don't feel thankful. God wants us to love Him first. May he bless you and keep you. God bless!