i honestly know exactly how you feel because i am in the same boat as you, the only difference is i do not have any friends anymore. i feel like i have been praying the same prayer for years but i just saw something today that could help us both: Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Mark 11:24
trust in the Lord and he will guide you. he knows everything you are going through. do not give up
trust in Him and pray to him