It's been prophesied in the Bible by God that many believers will fall away from and choose to follow satan because of things did go their way. No trust, belief, and no faith with the Father who is God of all. I feel sorry for you that you feel this way. Ask yourself this: Did Jesus had easy here on earth? He gave his life for you so you will have eternal life in heaven but what you are doing is stumping on Jesus. You don't believe God loves you? He gave His one and only begotten son to die for us. It's your choice; heaven or hell. If you think hell is more fun to be in...well it's up to you. May God have mercy on your soul.