U need to keep it real with urself. You met a penpal who was ur daughter boyfriend cell mate! $doesnt by love! If you dont love yourself no1 is g onna truly love you! He clearly moved on & you proved yourself needy & desperate by insisting he carry on an afair with you behind his new womans back!!! Karma.....Low self Esteem, buying for mens attention is a cheap trick you playing on urself, and using what you did for.him as leverage to keep him around is driving you crazy & him away. Plus you KNOW HE IS IN LOVE WITH THE OTHER WOMAN WHO BUILDS HIS CHARACTER AS A MAN. HAND UP GO WAY FURTHER THAN HAND OUTS....!!!!