God I have many unanswered questions that plague my heart, my soul. Questions that have lead me astray, looking for answers though other religions, other spiritual paths. I am filled with questions, guilt and sorrow. If you are with me, please answer my call.
Why did you only care for the people of Israel in the ancient times? Why even though many of them believed you abandon them and wished Moses would leave Egypt did you STILL care to save them? Why did you not care about the Egyptians as well? Is it because you were not the God of ALL MAN KIND but only the God of the Jews? If so then WHY did you create the Egyptians and other breeds of man if you did not care for their souls? I am not Jewish, does that mean you do not care for me as well? If you DO then what changed your mind? Why did you all of a sudden become the God who cared to save ALL of human kind?
I am not asking this because I do not believe in your existence? No, I know I have a soul that needs saving. I know I am not just some animal that evolved into a conscious human being. I know my brain has not created my beliefs, my emotions, my thoughts. My brain is no more ME than my stomach is me. It's just a part of my human body but I know I am much more than that. I am one of those lucky few who you have REVEALED yourself to me. God why did you speak to me? Not in thought, not in prayer, not in a dream but you CAME to me when I was a young child, told me who you were and told me what was to come. What you said DID come......but you never came back. You never helped me!
What was the point in you telling me what was to come if it had nothing to do with me? If your warning would not help? Why did you not tell me my purpose in life? Why am I left with not only the belief in your existence and the KNOWLEDGE of your existence but I am left with all these questions. What is my purpose here on earth? Why am I here...to suffer? I am SUFFERING here on earth without purpose. I need to know what my purpose is, what my path is...I feel I am not living up to my purpose. I feel as though I am already dead.
Why did you reveal yourself to those of the ancient times even when they did not believe in you after you saved them...and they demanded more and more and more But you will not reveal yourself to me and SAVE ME. My heart is aching for you God...I need these answers. Telling me to HAVE FAITH is not enough. Having faith has only left me feeling empty. I need answers. I need purpose. Or I am already a dead soul lost in hell for all eternity.
