Jeff, I do agree with you that God put a hedge around you and protect you from the onslaught of the enemy. He is a liar, and is out to destroy all of us. We have a great Savior though and he stands in the way of all Satan's devices. I pray you are able to improve your life by finishing you courses and also that the Lord restores your love for your wife. I also pray for your wife, that she feel your love and that you both commit your marriage to the Lord and do not give the enemy a ground to destroy. If you love your wife as the Lord wants you to she will respond lovingly to you. As far as the Lord taking you home, I am sure he knows your despair, but it is the Lord who gives life and He will decide when to take it. I am sure He has lots left for you to do here so pray and submit to His will and it will be done. I will continue to pray that the Lord soften both of your hearts toward each other and for the Holy Spirit to be present in the center of you marriage. God Bless