I have been praying that the Lord would bring the right man into my life for almost 7 years, but I am getting discouraged.
I am blessed in so many ways and I try to remember that...I have a job where God has me serving young families who's children have just been diagnosed with autism. I have wonderful parents and a few truly great friends. So I do know, that I am blessed...but lately I have to remind myself of that more frequently.
I have gotten resentful and jealous (2 things I have always tried hard not to be) it seems like everything I do and everywhere I go I am surrounded by young families. Since having my own family is such a strong desire it has been increasingly harder to not get overly emotional; such as crying in church, awkward moment friend's house...and even Wendy's the other day (Good grief). I am finding myself increasingly distracted by jealous and resentful thoughts. I try to pray in the moment...but the tears keep coming. When am at home an pray, listen to worship music, or read ...I do feel comfortable by God...but I feel like those bad moments are affecting my witness to others, the ways I am able to serve and some of my friendships.
Please pray that I would not just know, but act as if I believe that:
Everything I do is to bring God glory so if I am struggling in service it isn't about me not having children but about taking care of God's Children.
That I would have joy that can only come from the spirit, instead of all this sadness that is distracting me from Him and the friendships he is trying to bless me with.
and praying that I would have more patience as I am waiting.
and that He would bring my husband into my life and that I would know that it was God's work and God's timing and therefore right and not a mistake.