The night of September 19th Fred wanted to die and for me to choose where he shot himself. No one mattered to him, pictures and or memories did not matter. He threw furniture and family photos. It has been a hard few weeks. Therapy/counseling is a slow process. He has been told that he is a high functioning bipolar. Our lives have been turned upside down. He believes that he is too broken to be fixed and has done too much damage to us to be forgiven. He is extremely ashamed of what he has caused and has done. Please pray for not only him but me and our adult children…one knows what is going on and the other does not. I have not stayed at home since the incident. Pray that the devil unleashes the hold on him and he is able to seek forgiveness for himself and have self worth. I miss my home, my life, my animals and the good part of him.