My dear friends, I've been away from God for a long time and I dont know how to find my way back. I know it's supposed to be as easy as just surrendering and turning back but it doesn't seem to be working. My life is a mess and I have nobody to blame but myself. Asking for help now seems ridiculous but I really dont know what else to do.

I made a series of bad choices and I lost everything. I cheated on my husband and he left me. It took me far too long to repent. We're still married legally but he's long gone. We're not in contact. I dont know where he is. But I miss him. I dont just miss him b/c the "other man" broke my heart... I miss him b/c I realize how i made him feel (betrayed), what kind of man he really is (he may not have been an attentive husband but he wasn't a bad man) and what i lost (a really good friend). I was stupid; I wish I could go back and choose differently.

So this is my life now... a lot of regret, a heart that hurts from having been betrayed and from being the one who also caused hurt. I feel like my life is over. Like it's ruined and there's no hope. I can't stand it anymore. I dont want to live like this. Some days... I dont want to even live. I know it's not the right thing to say but I feel like the world would be better off if I were gone & then I'd be with God.

Anyways, I'm hoping that someone out there knows how to pray b/c I just dont know what's ok to ask for or what's the right things or anything anymore.

thank you for letting me lean on your faith.

Dear Lord have this woman leave all her sins and pain at your feet and to remember it takes time for a broken heart to heal. Ease her pain and guilt so that she can start a new life looking at you for all her strength and her motivation to keep on living. Don't let her continue to give ear to the enemy, he is the one that's preventing her from accepting her pardon from you and from healing. Also have her stop looking at the past, she has to look now for a better future that you have in store for her. Bring hope, peace, joy, and love into her life. So you may be Glorified Heavenly Father, I ask and thank you in Jesus Christ Precious Name, Amen!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. Jeremiah 29:11-12

Dear Lord,

You are close to the brokenhearted and the contrite in spirit.

Lord, you see this womans sincerity and you take all of our past sins and wash it in the deepest sea, never to be remembered no more. Help her to do that, Lord, give them to you and wash them clean from her mind and step forward with you Lord.

Lord, you honor brokeness, and yes it does hurt to look at our past sins, but the last thing you want us to do is give up hope, for you will restore the years the locust has eaten. You will turn are ashes into beauty. Help her to not feed into her emotions but to trust in your word, and hold fast to your promises Lord, no matter what her emotions are telling her.

Help her fill her mind with spiritual songs and verses to meditate on Lord that will uplift her, encourage her and help her press on, forgetting what is behind and pressing on to the higher mark of Jesus Christ.

Fill her with your forgiveness, but most of all help her to know as you have forgiven her, so must she forgive herself.

These things we ask in your name, we pray and in your love.

Amen.