Praying about going back to Community College or a trade school, maybe Beauty School. Even with that I don't expect to make tons of money but I would like to have some kind of career even at my age that I can make a living and am good at, actually really good. The job pickings are very limited with no degree or trade, either minimum wage and maybe some flexibility with scheduling say if you would like some day shifts or be able to see family or go to church or a job with shifts that pay a little more but no schedule flexibility. It took my cousin years to get weekends off at hospital job. Working some weekends may not be bad if I liked my job. Husband filed for divorce 3 1/2 years ago but he still pays mortgage and bills, this won't last forever and my mom helps out but I need a job. This may be only time (overdue) to take advantage of situation and go back to school before things change. I'm not getting any encouragement from mom, stbx, friend. Don't know how long car will run, it's a used car, you never know. Don't know if feeling about going to school is God trying to tell me to do it or maybe my pride . Prayers that God helps me to go to school and leads me in right career direction and if school is not meant to be, God speaks to me and takes away disappointment, fear of future and helps me find a job and not be angry. I probably need to apply for food stamps to help out, my mom's been paying for groceries and that's one reason she doesn't want me to go to school she wants me to get a full time job now to help out regardless of schedule and money, I don't want to take any job and work all nights or minimum wage, I want something I can live on in future when she is no longer here and soon to be ex husband is no longer paying the bills. I would like a job where maybe I can get some day shifts and be able to actually do something. Is that wrong? a part-time job if I go to school and somehow be able to help pay bills and money for clothes for kids or miscellaneous and have time and energy to fit in cleaning my house at least every two weeks, do laundry weekly and be able to grocery shop and make dinner and go to church in morning or night. It's overwhelming! Lol. I think I need a financial and physical miracle. The job pickings out there with no degree or trade is slim and I'm also not young anymore, 50, I'm scared a d anxiety alot. Please pray I am able to somehow be able to live independently and care for kids. My husband is divorcing me, I've wasted too much time, years already. I really am not a feminist type but I would really like to have a career I'm really good at and can make a living: pay bills every month, buy food, a phone, new clothes for me and kids yearly ( not extravagant) and be able to buy and keep a car to get around which is another issue. Hard to do everything on bus and in timely manner, not real safe either waiting at or walking to bus stop or home in this area. Things aren't like they were years ago. Mom bought me used car and I don't know how long it will last, please pray this car will last at least few years with no problem at least not expensive a d we have money for inspection in March and hopefully full coverage insurance, hubby pays it now, I/we need to start paying some bills and not him all bills, slowly break away from him. I also need part-time job and be able to claim kids on my taxes to get return to help pay off credit card card debt and safety net for house, kids, car, maybe save for another new used car in future. I need alot if prayers big time or I'll never make it without God. I also don't type very fast or fit into nursing, CNA, healthcare mold, don't have stomach for adult diapers, vomit, etc..

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I'm getting really scared, depressed about future and cry so much, have hard time getting out of bed and actually doing things to get things started. I have to take the first step or nothing will happen. I feel sick and cry alit when family sleeping