First, I have never ever put in a prayer request in this manner. However, I am so completely sad and devastated that I don’t know what to do. I do pray to God but it seems that whatever his “will” is does not include me having peace and contentment in my life. Either that or I am just so stupid that I can’t seem to ever do the right things or make the right choices. My life is a complete mess and to go along with that I suffer from major episodes of depression and anxiety and even if my life was perfect, I would still be unhappy to some extent. Here is my long prayer request:
1. My parenting-I have a son that is 8 seven old that I love more than anything or anyone in my life. Yet, my issues severely interrupt normal parenting. I have a hard time even interacting with him because I just am so unhappy 80% of the time. But, if it wasn’t for him without a doubt I would have already exited this world.
2. My marriage—which, painfully, is not my first, I married him about 6 months after my divorce (yes, I know –mistake #1) from my last husband. We have all kinds of all issues. Some include: he lives in a city an hour away (long story), my depression which causes a severe strain on our relationship, he is not a believer and refuses to go to church with me, financial issues, general incompatibility issues. I desperately want this to work and do not want another divorce. I do not know if I could live through it.
3. I have been unemployed since early September of 2011. Of course, financial stress. I do receive unemployment but it is never enough. Looking for a job is hard with lots of rejection which increases my low self worth and motivation to keep looking.
4. Healthcare---I am now on my husband’s plan with is costing him a lot more money and strain on our relationship. However, I have to have it. I have medications to take and I need to be seeing a counselor.
5. Isolation---I am originally from Idaho but moved here about 10 years ago. Still, I haven’t developed a lot of friendships. My family and real support are in Idaho. Besides, the more depressed I become the more I isolate and it is a vicious cycle.
6. There is a lot more but don’t have the time or motivation to list it all.
Please pray for me!amy
