Hello, my name is Vanessa. I am 19 years old, last year I was manipulated by who I thought was a good, Christian man and eventually sexually harassed then raped. I became pregnant but I didn't want to go through with an abortion so I kept it, scared and afraid. I hid it a secret and thought about adoption. I eventually became suicidal and depressed, I felt cursed and lost my faith in God. My friends didn't care, and the only one that did, betrayed my trust and his motives for helping me became strange. I had set and planned out a date that I would kill myself.
One day I called my mom to ask to come home in my 7th month of pregnancy, I went home and she quickly found out. She, however, let me stay still but I had to give it up for adoption. My grandparents from both sides offered to care for it, but they are still on the fence. I finally decided that I wanted to keep it but ultimately it's my mother's and grandparent's decision.
Today, I went to my doctor's appointment and found that the baby's head is measuring quite large and may be a sign of mental disability and I may need a c-section, he couldn't offer any good news. I have to go to a specialist to get it examined. If mental retardation is confirmed, I won't be able to keep it.
My prayer is that the Lord watches over and protects my unborn child and grants him extraordinary health and well being. If there is a problem with the child, I pray the Lord heals every inch of his body. I wish very much to keep this child, and I will give up my life to take care of this baby. If the baby is mentally disabled, I pray that a wonderful family adopts and loves him just like I would.
