Please pray for my family situation.
It is my husband, me, and two of my three children living together at this time, as my oldest child is out on his own. My kids are over 18 and he is their stepdad. We married over 3 years ago and it has been downhill from there. To begin with, we moved to another state to be with him because he had joint custody, while I had full custody of my kids. His kids were jealous of us being there full time, while they were there part time, either way, they were horrible to me/my kids and my husband did little to stop them out of fear of making THEM mad.
Of course, his attitude and their treatment of us has killed our relationship, and I resent him for allowing it to happen, although I said nothing to the kids during their times with us, I cried in private. My husband knew it was destroying us and yet did nothing to stop his kids from being monsters.
It became much worse in January, as my husband was laid off. He is now so lazy, it is frustrating. I can't pay all the bills/rent, and his unemployment isn't enough. Rather than go out to find work, he sleeps late, plays games, watches TV and eats us out of house and home. His huge contribution all week is taking out the trash and he has to be asked repeatedly to do that. It is often overflowing before he sighs and takes it out.
Thankfully my kids help me around the house, or I'd collapse from exhaustion. He seems content to be lazy. When I get upset, he will make a half hearted effort and email job openings to me at my job, and ask ME to apply for him. I finally told him this weekend that my pay isn't enough to pay the bills, although it did help when HE was working. I can't afford the bills on my own, or I'd have kicked him out a long time ago. I am to the point of barely being able to stomach looking at him, he disgusts me. I bust my butt all day at work and come home to his mess in the kitchen. My son vacumes, helps with laundry, keeps his room clean and picks up/cleans up after himself. My daughter does dishes, laundry, keeps her room clean, picks up/cleans up after herself. I raised my kids to pitch in and help out, they still do, but it frustrates all of us to watch my husband sit around and watch the rest of us clean. My daughter is sick of cleaning the kitchen dozens of times a day because my husband never stops eating. This past winter, he and I were the only ones home, and he sat and watched me struggle to bring in firewood as he watched TV. Last week I threw some dirty clothes down the stairs to take to the washing machine. He went down the stairs and walked on the clothes as he went down the stairs. He knew I wanted to get them to the washer, and I was so mad, I asked him why he didn't put them in the washer for me and he yelled, YOU THREW THEM THERE, NOT ME. THIS is the kind of stuff I deal with every day, he is a immature person, not acting like a man at all. The last straw, there is no physical ANYTHING between us, he rarely brushes his teeth and showers are fast, few, and ineffective. He will wear clothes over and over and they reek. He also hasn't been to a dentist in 5 years, his breath could kill a horse. I have made him appointments and he always refuses to go. His overeating, poor hygiene and laziness are his fault. He caused type 2 diabetes in himself by poor eating, eating sweets and soda all the time. My kids and I, on the other hand, always eat healthy, exercise and take care of ourselves, shower, brush, always wear clean clothes. Before we married, he always helped me, was always showered, wore cologne and smelled of toothpaste. After we stopped, yet I continued to take care of me.
The Doctor even warned him that he would eventually be unable to have sex if he continued the way he was. and he didn't seem to care, he continued to eat poorly, gained weight and lost his performance abilities. It's been almost a year and a half of celibacy for me, not by my choice. It's difficult to be around a husband like this. It isn't a marriage at all, in fact he sleeps in another room now, because he snored so loud due to his weight and constant late night eating, but he would also get up to eat and drink milk a few times during the night, and it would wake me up every time. A gallon of milk would be gone by the next morning because his 'glass' of milk is a 32oz plastic cup. It's insane!
I can't afford to keep food in the house. He can eat a ton and then if he sees anyone else eat or drink, he still has to have whatever they are having, he is killing the food budget becasue he devours everything in the house! I have to hide stuff from him and he always searches and finds it. He gets angry if he sees my kids with a snack he didn't know was in the house. When he is mad, he slams doors and stomps his feet, he refuses to communicate like an adult and totally acts like a child.
The living room furniture is leather, but I have to scrub it constantly because it reeks of his body odor from his sitting/laying on it all day. I brought up divorce and he doesn't want that, he even claims to love me, but I see no trace of that from him. I want out of this marriage, and if I could afford to, I would be gone already. I am trying to find a better job so I can afford to leave. I wish he would find one as well. If he were at least at a job all day, he couldn't eat everything in sight, make a mess or not contribute to bills. We will be out on the street if he doesn't get a job quickly. HE can move into his mothers house, my kids and I have nowhere to go, maybe that is why he doesn't care, I don't know.
Pray he gets a job asap and his hygiene/eating habits improve.
