I dont really know how to start this. I am a mess. For the last 7 years now. My troubles all started in 2003 when I was in a pretty bad car wreck. At the time I wasnt hurt that badly. I suffered from some spinal damage. Not to bad at all though I did hurt. The doctors put me on pain pills to help with the pain while I was at work. Little did I know that those little pills would forever change me and help mess up a lot of lives in the process. I had a great job a beautiful and loving wife and two beautiful little girls. Like I said the pills changed me. I never even looked at another woman. Until then. I met a girl at work, became friends. And then I lied to her and cheated on my wife. I left my wife and moved in with this new girl. My children were heart broken that their daddy would leave them. I ended up getting the new girl pregnant and still continued to have a sexual relationship with my now ex wife. Then the new girl found out about the ex and I. I lost her gave up on the other and quit my 100,000 a year job. Started taking even more pain pills, I suppose to help hide my own pain and possibly numb myself to the pain I have caused so many that I truely did love with all of me. Now I have remarried, I have since been in another accident and have had several operations on my back now. I am still taking the pain meds. I still hurt. Nothing works on the pain. Now in the wake of all of this. I somehow have to see my way through this. I know I have my lords love. I pray all I can. I would like help. And prayer, not only for me. But the healing of my children and their mothers. Sometimes the guilt of what Ive done is so overwhelming and the fact that I am now addicted to drugs just kills me inside. I pray that God give me my life back. Just let me be me without the drugs or the want for them.

Dear Havenly Father put your every healing arm's around this man and take all the pain away. IN JESUS NAME I PRAY AMEN.