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Prayer ! - Tyee - 06-11-2012 01:22 PM
-Honestly ,I Feel Like I Have No Confidence In Myself Anymore. I Cry Almost Everyday , But Nothing Gets Better . I Feel Non - Existant. I Have Gone Through So Much For The Past Months And Years . I Often Wonder , Whats The Point Of Me Living . Its Not Like Anyone Cares For Me But My Mom . But , She's Going Through A Tough Time Herself . She Says , She Sometimes Feel Like Not Waking Up , And Such Things . Sometimes , The Pain Is So Deep , To Hard To Get Through , That Somedays I Dont Even Feel Like Trying . Nobody Understands My Pain , Everything That Im Going Through . My Mom Always Depressed , Its Either Because Of Bills , She Cant Provide For Her Kids Like She Wants To , And Her Back Promblems . Her Disc In Her Back Is Out Of Place , And No - One Helping Her Out . I Feel Alone , I Try To Do Things To Make Me HAPPY But Nothings Work . There's Nothing I Have To Look Forward To . But , When I Do And Things Seem To Go Right , Life Comes In , And Takes It All Away . I Cant Find Happiness . I Love To Smile , But I Never Can Smile . The Thoughts Of Doing Something Stupid Happens Often . I have Made Idle Threats To Myself And My Life . Im Still Glad Im Here , Seeing Another Day . But , Why Do Everything Have To Happen To My Mom And I , And Some Other Family Members . Like , Today My Brother Told Me He's Going To Shoot Me , And Kill Me. He Wish I Was Dead . My Brothers Are Older Than Me , And NEVER Set An Good Example . May , You Guys Pray For Them . I Give My Very Last To People , And I Feel Like Its Always Me Giving , And Giving And Never Get Anything Back In Return . When I Have A Promblem , No One Wants To Listen . Whenever Someone Has A Promblem Or Need Someone To Talk To , They Have ME ! But Where Is Everyone When I Need Them . I Hear Negative Things Everday . Im Always Getting Beating . My Brothers Hit On Me , Slap Me , And Punches Me Like Im A Boy . I Just Wish Things Get Better For Me And My Mom ALOT , Definetly My Mom . I Try Not To Let Anybody Get The BEST out Me . I Want To Be A Singer , And Open My Own Dance Studio For Young Black Unfortunate Girlss But People Say Im Never Going To Make It .
Like , Im Crying Now . I Cry Because Ive Been Strong For Too Long , And Im At The Point Where I Cant Take It No More . When I Get Knocked Down , I Get Up , Then I Get Knocked Twice More , Where I Dont Want To Get Up No MORE . I Need New Friends , Because None Of My Friends Care . I Can Say , The Only Person That Cares Is Sekayi And Lovely . Those 2 Are Here For Me Other Than My Mom . Keep Them In Your Prayers Also . I Want To Make IT , And Be Sucessful . I Want To Travel The World , Soon . I Want To Move To Another State . I Want To Start Believing In Myself More And To Stop Letting People Get The Best Out Of Me . I Lost Faith , Im Always Sad . Satan "Get Up Off Me " . He's Ruining My Life . I Believe In God , And I Believe He Could Fix It .I Love[/color][/font] Everyone , Respect Everyone . Why I Held On For So Long? But , Thank You , And Keep My Mom And I ( Tyjia ) , My 2 Friends , My Family In Your Prayers . GOD BLESS YOU ALL !