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My marriage - Jessica - 08-10-2010 08:44 AM
My husband of 5 years still hasnt made a decision. We have a 3 month old son and he left when he was 6 weeks old. I am staying at my parents and he is at our house. It is so hard to walk into my house and know that I dont live there. I have worked so hard for that house and so hard for Ethan to have his own room and back yard. It breaks my heart to walk into his room when I have to get more clothes that I cant put him in his own bed. My husband still hasnt made a decision. I talked to him on Thursday and he is being so stubborn. He feels like it shouldnt have taken him to leave me for me to want to make him happy. The thing is, is that I did not know he was unhappy and I wasnt making him happy. I am so broken hearted because these issues are so fixable but he is being so stubborn. Please pray for God to change his heart and mind and to desire to work on our marriage. Pray that he looks at me and our son and desires to have his family back together. thank you for the prayers!
Jessica
RE: My marriage - adoring1 - 08-10-2010 09:11 AM
Jessica, how we pray when a marriage is in trouble is very important as it empowers God. When our prayers are centered around what it is that WE want or the faults of the OTHER person God simply sits and waits until we pray in a way that allows Him to act. Please remember our prayers need to line up with His word. Yes he wants marriages to remain together...but more than that he wants us to align ourselves with Him...to trust him and to become more like his Son. You lament the work you did to get your house...you lament that your son is not in his room...you lament your husband's stubborness and that you did not know he was unhappy. We do not make others happy...we do that ourselves with how we look at life...and how we communicate our needs. I did much this same type of lamenting when I was hurt by my ex-husband many years ago. God has grown me up a lot since then and so I share this with you. Examine your own heart...examine yourself as a wife as compared to the model the Father provides in Proverbs 31. Where can seeking God's instruction help you to become a better child of God, a better wife and better mother? Not for your husband...but for God! Examine your walk with God...do you trust him? Will you accept his plan for your life even if your husband is not a part of it going forward? Oh yes...he wants him to be...but each of us has free will...and God is such a gracious God he will not make anyone do anything...He allows us to choose. So how can we pray to empower God to act...pray that our lives become more God centered and that our spouses grow closer to God...that they examine themselves and repent from anything that is not of Him in their and our lives...I am sharing below a prayer that the Lord gave me as he was revealing to me how we should pray for our marriages. While you have not mentioned adultery as being a part of your crises...the themes are the same as they line up with God's word. Please consider them and ask the Lord to reveal to you whether they have any application in your situation. God can heal, God can restore...but before he can deal with a marriage, each partner must be right with Him. I pray that you will fight your battle for your marriage in God's way...and I pray that God will bless you richly...and always!
Father,
Thank you for the realization given this morning about how we pray about our troubled marriages. How I wish I had understood this some years ago when I was praying for my own. Forgive me for praying so selfishly then about what I wanted my ex-husband to do while he was caught up in adultery because of my own broken heart, my EROS love for him and my own pain and desires...that I missed the true mark. Perhaps the growth you have provided over these last 8 years can help others? I pray that it will...and I pray that earnest prayers, from many prayer warriors to reclaim those that have strayed from God will bring movement in many hearts... some of stone and some that are broken... and repair to many homes on the verge of collapse.
Speak life into these marriages. Turn hearts away from fraudulent partners and back to those to whom vows of fidelity were made. Give this husband or wife a rock solid understanding of what he/she is dealing with. This is not a battle with people who influence, other women or other men; it is one against spiritual wickedness among powers and principalities in high places...there is oppression operating against this wife or husband from these powers and principalities to turn their free will against God. They may not recognize it, but as I pray, this is what I am led to say. For the husband or wife of one who has strayed, I pray that he/she understands that there can be no breakthrough until this spouse is right with God. It is not about them loving in an EROS way this spouse they have left behind or the person with whom they are currently involved. It is not about them returning to this marriage or staying in an unholy relationship...rather it is about their returning to a relationship with Christ. Unless and until they recognize that they are in opposition to the Lord...His will and His ways...there will be no change in the current outcome and in fact it may become worse. This fallen spouse believes that their actions are right...okay...in their sight. They believe it as strongly as the one who has been left behind and wants reconciliation believes. He/she has been convinced by this evil oppression that what he/she is doing is somehow justified. As long as this husband/wife who has been left continues the quest, even in prayer for EROS love as their focus...there will be no change in the behavior of the other. By definition EROS love is that which is fueled by selfish desire...we want those we love to love us back, to share intimacy with us and us only...and this is both natural and human and ultimately what God intends in the marriage relationship...but the need within the one that has strayed that will return HIM or HER to righteousness is for AGAPE love to return...loving themselves as God loves them, loving their spouses as God loves them also...continuance of marriage is NOT a condition for AGAPE love...nothing is...it is unconditional. When we pray in this circumstance...we can and should pray for the return of this straying partner to their marriage...but first things first, as our God does things decently and in order. Let us pray for a return of the straying spouse to God...to His principles, to reverence for Him. When we revere God we cannot go against his ways. The heart of stone that currently exists in the breast of the one who is unfaithful is because their conscience has been seared...and continuance of this is exactly what the enemy wants. Let us bombard heaven with prayers to bring the unfaithful ones back to Jesus...let us ask for them to see themselves through the eyes of Jesus...let us ask that they see how HIS spirit is grieved because of their actions, not our own grief...let us ask for them to see that they are throwing His love, His sacrifice out the window due to their own quest for EROs which can and will bring chaos and destruction into their lives and those in their families... as it already has. These unfaithful husbands and wives are beyond the reach of what their spouses want right now...they no longer care about it...they are deeply engaged in her their own selfish quests to have what THEY want. But they are not beyond the reach of God. Let us pray with all our might that those who have broken their vows fall in love with Jesus again! If they do...if they get back into God's order...the order of the decency of God...their free will can be directed again by the Lord of Hosts...and their return to their marriages, where they belong can again become possible. This I believe...and it is this I pray. In Jesus name...Amen!
RE: My marriage - Chris8 - 08-23-2012 11:37 PM
Dear Lord,please have mercy on Jessica.
In the Name of the Lord,right now I command to all the power of darkness and the curses to leave Jessica! Now!
I pray that Your will to be done in their life.
You are the King of kings and Your Name is Wonderful.
Thank You my Lord