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| Posted by Dawn1 - 07-23-2013 01:19 AM |
| Lord, I lift Sean and his wife before you. Grant them both physical healing. Grant them direction, and guidance. Show them your perfect will for their lives. In Jesus name I pray. amen |
| Posted by fishfry - 07-22-2013 10:20 PM |
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Looks like the other shoe has dropped. My hernia is worse and spreading. Now I can't do anything but lay around and hurt. Sitting up hurts, standing and moving around definitely hurts. But with no insurance and no income it's just a matter of time now. I'm so tired of getting pushed downhill on this uphill struggle. I'm about ready to give up. At this point I'd probably need one of those miracles to fall out of the sky and into my lap. Call me a skeptic but I just don't see that happening any time soon. I'm still here and I'm still listening God. I may not be able to do much else but I am listening. |
| Posted by fishfry - 07-21-2013 06:36 PM |
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My name is Sean and I feel like I am swept up in a spiritual storm. I have just turned 29 and have been blessed with a loving wife of 3 years this October. I have prayed and told God "here I am. Send me. Light my path as clear as day." I have been in contract IT work for the last 2 years and have been unemployed for the last 6 months. My unemployment ends in September. The bills are starting to stack up. My wife has been stricken with a large ovarian cyst that is causing her tremendous back pain that renders her bed ridden. We finally managed to get a pain management appointment but its on the 6th of august. The pain meds she did have, have run out. The doctor has said she can't write anymore due to dea regulations. In June she went before bankruptcy court and manage to offload about 75k worth of debt (mostly hospital bills). She does have a job but at only 29 hours a week it provides little income. On my last contract I developed an sliding umbilical hernia. It does hurt from time to time and today was my first real scare, I started bleeding a small amount from my naval. It stopped as soon as it started though. Without insurance and no form of income other than unemployment I have no way of getting the surgery I need. Speaking of surgery, my wife has seen many specialists and was approved for surgery to remove the cyst by an anesthesiologist but when we got to preop and had paid the hospital 2 grand to be admitted he got cold feet and said he wasn't sure if he could bring her out of sleep. Which means there went 2 grand down the toilet to the money machine. The doctors are confident the cyst is the source of her pain. My wife was using a tens unit and it seemed to be helping for a while but it has slowly lost its effect. I just don't know what God wants me to do in this situation. I have thought some very dark thoughts. Wishing that it was my time. Work seems to have dried up and time is running out. I'm so tired I regularly wish that the end was near, be it second coming, my/o carnal demise, whatever. There are quite a few things I haven't mentioned that I don't feel comfortable talking about in a public forum. My maternal grandmother passed on in 2005 and it seems that since then things have slowly started to go downhill up to 2 years ago when I lost a permanent position and had to start contract work. I miss her so much and I know if we pass on we will see her and it excites me to no end. I feel like this is all life will ever be from here on after. Both of our families and we have been praying every day for answers, but it's as if I am meant for this. Just when things look up sometimes they take a sudden turn. Who knows... maybe I will have a heart attack or be diagnosed with cancer next... I keep waiting for the other shoe to crash through the floor. My wife can't sleep or eat hardly and regularly cries out in pain. All I can do is sit here and listen to it. It's maddening to watch the one God gave to me suffer so much. I just want her pain to end. Here I am God... I need help... I need you... |