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[quote='Guest' pid='52665' dateline='1282345552']
I also believe that someone like this can be dangerous & to our souls for they are not to be pleased, it can crush the spirit of a woman to go through this.
I believe my ex husband is of such a mindset that if he thought he could still hurt me he would.  He is gone.  He never wanted to stick by my side, I am glad he has left.  Now it is between him & God.
A woman should not have to beg her husband to stay nor spend countless hours primping in front of a mirror to please him.
If she desire this fine, it is good.
But to expect someone to do this, or think that if they do, that this will keep a man of this nature (that is never happy), it is wrong.
Coming out of a very abusive marriage, I am sensitive to this type of thing.  It has taught me a lot about some humans that I did not know & frankly did not want to know.  I loved this man, but you cannot love nor remain in a love where the person does not want to stay & is always displeased.  
To spend time in front of the mirror thinking that it will change things.. I guess it smacks at me, because it is almost always about the one that turns away from the marriage.
As I say, if my ex husband could hurt me further I believe he would.
I am all for marriage, but I am also of the understanding there are some that are not, that is why I am no longer married.
(I was not his first wife & I am not going to be his last either, he is always of want for something else)

[quote=Guest]
& I had a husband that no what I could not pleased & he continually lust other woman, he was unfaithful, angry, never happy.
He was a very angry man.  He goes from one marriage to the next, & I tried to make myself more beautiful & put nice food on the table & everything possible, but nothing worked.
He always wanting someone or something else.
Some people are not to be pleased, not by God not by anyone.
This is their nature.  I felt as if it is very personal to me, what she is going through.
I was abused severely.
I have since been reassured that I am attractive & kind & as I was told before my marriage, I have male & female friends that appreciate me for who I am.  I don't have to jump over & in & out hoops to feel beautiful inside & out. 
I feel in defense of this woman, that she is suffering as she is, I have been there. & in this situation, it makes no difference what a woman does, when there is abuse & the spouse is determined to find someone they will.  I am not bitter, but I am wiser because of it.
I will continue to stand in the defense of a situation as this again.

God Bless.

[quote=Guest]
If you noticed I asked God to give her wisdom on how to be attracting to her husband once again. Not Only From Within, but If she has neglected her appearance, like some women do after marriage.  I was not saying she had neglected herself when I don't even know her.  I don't know who you are, but I've seen you put down other prayers here on this board before. I do know that sometimes some woman forgets that their husbands are surrounded all day long with very attractive woman at work, so in a way we have to compete with them.  I too had a husband that left me with three young children.  I too love God with all my heart and prayed for my husband to be safe, and today he is a Christian, Praise God!  I never either said of her being overweight so please stop changing my worlds and judging me.  Maybe God intended this if not her, for another woman who may need to hear this to read it, and get the message.  Of course beauty starts from within, and God comes first in our lives.  But we can also make ourselves look better, take for instant if your parents give you house as a gift, and you just keep the inside beautiful, but neglect the outside, what will others think when they see it rundown?  It is the same with our bodies which are the temples of God. And finally yes I agree we have to pray for our husband's for God to convict them.  I too had no money or much to wear, but it costs nothing to keep your hear neat, take a shower every day, keep what little clothing you have clean, wear a little make up, and keep the kids and house clean and neat.  Also always have a warm dinner waiting for your husband when he gets home from work,.  What's wrong with that?  For today there so many that don't even know how to cook a dinner for their husbands.  He who have ears hear, and not be offended for this is not a bad massage for us to hear.  If you noticed I asked God to give her wisdom on how to be attracting to her husband once again. Not Only From Within, but If she has neglected her appearance, like some women do after marriage.  I was not saying she had neglected herself when I don't even know her.  I don't know who you are, but I've seen you put down other prayers here on this board before. I do know that sometimes some woman forgets that their husbands are surrounded all day long with very attractive woman at work, so in a way we have to compete with them.  I too had a husband that left me with three young children.  I too love God with all my heart and prayed for my husband to be safe, and today he is a Christian, Praise God!  I never either said of her being overweight so please stop changing my worlds and judging me.  Maybe God intended this if not her, for another woman who may need to hear this to read it, and get the message.  Of course beauty starts from within, and God comes first in our lives.  But we can also make ourselves look better, take for instant if your parents give you house as a gift, and you just keep the inside beautiful, but neglect the outside, what will others think when they see it rundown?  It is the same with our bodies which are the temples of God. And finally yes I agree we have to pray for our husband's for God to convict them.  I too had no money or much to wear, but it costs nothing to keep your hear neat, take a shower every day, keep what little clothing you have clean, wear a little make up, and keep the kids and house clean and neat.  Also always have a warm dinner waiting for your husband when he gets home from work,.  What's wrong with that?  For today there so many that don't even know how to cook a dinner for their husbands.  He who have ears hear, and not be offended for this is not a bad massage for us to hear, Ms. Holier than Holier!
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Posted by stevendanielsen - 09-28-2010 05:16 PM

Dear Havenly Father The Kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven forgive us are sin as we for give are debtor and lead us not into temptiation but deliver us from evil Please answer this person prayer acord to your will and bless there life Lord and we give you all the priase honor and glory in all of this. IN JESUS NAME I PRAY AMEN

Posted by heal_through_prayer - 09-27-2010 09:18 PM

The thoughts of quitting or hopelessness is the work of the devil. Think of this as a competition. Its God against Satan, and you are God's biggest fan and chee[/size]rleader. Think of your stand as a challenge to have faith that your team will win the game no matter what the score is at this time. Remember, its not about winning the battles, but if You stand firm in God and devote your life to Him, you will win the war.

Read God's Word, Pray, and let this be your motto.

A Standers Affirmation[size=large]

I AM STANDING FOR THE HEALING OF MY MARRIAGE!... I will not give up, give in, give out or give over 'til that healing takes place. I made a vow, I said the words, I gave the pledge, I gave a ring, I took a ring, I gave myself, I trusted GOD, and said the words, and meant the words... in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad...so I am standing NOW, and will not sit down, let down, slow down, calm down, fall down, look down or be down 'til the breakdown is torn down!

I refuse to put my eyes on outward circumstances, or listen to prophets of doom, or buy into what is trendy, worldly, popular, convenient, easy, quick, thrifty, or advantageous... nor will I settle for a cheap imitation of God's real thing, nor will I seek to lower God's standard, twist God's will, rewrite God's word, violate God's covenant, or accept what God hates, namely divorce!

In a world of filth, I will stay pure; surrounded by lies I will speak the truth; where hopelessness abounds, I will hope in God: where revenge is easier, I will bless instead of curse; and where the odds are stacked against me, I will trust in God's faithfulness.

I am a STANDER, and I will not acquiesce, compromise, quarrel or quit.. I have made the choice, set my face, entered the race, believed the Word, and trusted God for all the outcome.

I will allow neither the reaction of my spouse, nor the urging of my friends, nor the advice of my loved ones, nor economic hardship, nor the prompting of the devil to make me let up, slow up, blow up, or give up 'til my marriage is healed.

- Author Unknown

Posted by adoring1 - 09-27-2010 07:44 PM

Father...show jrob you know her heart...and help her to think of this time differently. Think of this as a time to work on the things she would like to do differently to become the wife she really wants to be. Let her memorize Proverbs 31:10-31 so that she may have a model to apply to transforming her heart and herself. We cannot fix or change others...but we can perfect ourselves in the image that you have for us. Let her focus on her relationship with you...and let her light shine in her heart that it will draw her husband to her. Soften his heart Lord so he may see who this woman is that you are recreating! In Jesus name...Amen!

Posted by jrob54 - 09-27-2010 07:18 PM

Im feeling weak and weary friends....its so hard to hang on to a man who doesnt want me. Oh how I long for us to be a family again! It hurts to see other families together. Yesterday was my birthday dinner at his parents where I am living. He came and gave me a card and birthstone charm from Ethan. I caught him staring at me throughout the night. Im trying not to read into it because I cannot read this man! I dont know what to think anymore. I am trying to hold on but it hurts so much. He says he doesnt want me but he is not ready to file the papers so to speak. I dont know how long he will keep me dangling. I need extra prayers. I just want to be happy again.

Posted by stevendanielsen - 09-25-2010 08:15 PM

Posted by heal_through_prayer - 09-24-2010 10:32 PM

JRob, I don't pretend to have the silver bullet that will fix Your marriage. I can only help you learn from my mistakes. Everytime your husband tries to push away do not try to pull him back. This only makes him push away more. Everytime he runs away from you, you need to run to God. When you speak to your husband, be kind and speak with sweetness. Sweetness of the tongue adds persuasiveness. The hardest part of standing for a marriage is that what we SHOULD do goes against our natural instinct of what we WANT to do and feel we NEED to do. I wish I would have understood these things before, but I was stubborn. You MUST realize this is not a battle between you and your husband. He is not the enemy and you are not the victim. This is a spiritual war good against evil. You can't use your human abilities and human responses to change your husband's mind. He will never respond. You have to Trust in Jesus with all of your strength and energy, pray to Him, stand for your marriage. Let go of the situation and let God take it from here. Concentrate on growing closer to God, taking care of yourself and family, and finding happiness in other areas of your life. Let God work on changing your husband's heart. But everytime you doubt or interfere you are playing into Satan's traps. Always ignore and resist the temptation to fight in the flesh. Its tough. Sometimes it feels impossible. But when it does get on your knees and cry out to God. If you truly want to stand for your marriage, you have to come to the realization that everyday is a battle, the pain is sometimes unbearable, and somedays you will want to give up. You have to fight through it. If God is giving you a sense to stand, than stand strong in God's word and He will deliver you.

Father, lead JRob through the darkness she is surrounded by. Guide her with Your loving grace. Give her the strength to stand for her marriage. Help her have faith that while she is standing, You are working. Remove the evil that has interfered with this marriage. Restore what Satan has destroyed. Turn this man's heart from stone to flesh, and cleanse him in Your word. May Your will be done in this marriage and every other marriage in crisis. In Jesus' loving name. AMEN

Posted by Alemzewd - 09-23-2010 07:42 PM

Father Lord please interfear in. Give her strength and cover by ur blood. Let ur willing be done. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

Posted by adoring1 - 09-23-2010 07:29 PM

Thank you Father that jrob has decided to wait to see what will happen with this man. Let her continue to pray for this man to be drawn to you. Let her walk in ways that allows your light Father, the light of God to be seen by this husband and the world. Let this husband be surrounded on all sides by strong mature Christians...especially men that will stand for your ways Father and teach him what a man in Christ is. Father...help this woman to heal and to stand...and to wait on you because you have the final word. In Jesus name...Amen!

Posted by jrob54 - 09-23-2010 07:03 PM

I have decided not to give up...I have a strong feeling not to. My husband is still struggling with actually making the decision. He knows its wrong. For all the hurt that I have been put through, I still love this man. I now understand the love of God. Although we continue to hurt Him, he still loves us. I feel like I should show unconidtional love. I sent some emails to my husband yesterday that were in a way standing up for myself. I didnt feel good about it later. It wasnt the christian thing to do. I left him a voice mail and apoligized and told him it was unchristian and unGodly and it wouldnt be pleasing to Him. He text me later and said "I wasnt expecting you to say what you did on your voicemail. Thank you" I reread it over and over bc its really the first nice thing he has said since all of this happened. I dont know how this will get fixed but I will continue to pray for my borken heart and for God to guide me.

Posted by heal_through_prayer - 09-23-2010 04:42 PM

JRob, You must do what you feel, but my advice would be to not seek out a lawyer if you do indeed seek full restoration of your marriage. This is a spiritual battle that you are fighting and the weapons of this world are not capable of defeating this enemy. It must be fought and won in the spirit. By bringing a lawyer you are making yourself your husband's enemy. You will harden his heart even more. Let God be your counselor before any lawyer. Trust God alone to deliver and protect You.

I have told my wife that this is her divorce and I will not participate. I don't blame her for wanting a divorce, I love her, and I don't agree with divorce, but will not stand in her way. I told her that I trusted her to be fair. Its better to be wronged or defrauded. If you go against your spouse in court its already a defeat for you.

Pray for God's counsel. If you still decide to get a lawyer, you may not get your restoration you've been standing for. Make sure you pray a lot, for God's direction in this matter.

Father, many of us are in a state of limbo, should we continue to stand or close this chapter and move on. Please give us clear guidance on what You want us to do. This woman is hurting and is in need of Your help. If You want her to continue to stand, comfort her and give her peace. Show her how to stand by trusting You and only You.

In Jesus Christ's loving name, I command these evil spirits to leave this marriage alone. They are not welcomed and can not stand in the face of God. What they have destroyed, God can restore. If it is Your will, Father, give this woman courage and faith, as You turn this man's heart back to his marriage. Please give this wife the understanding that she has to let You do the work from here on out. It's tough to let go, but if she wants her marriage restored, she has to let You in the driver seat. Please answer this prayer and all prayers for marriages. AMEN

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