RE: custody/social worker invovled now
LAst night was not so good. After hearing everything yesterday morning I am is such dispair. The person who caught them was her husband and he told me what happened. Well this upset the other woman so much that she made a bargin with her husband. She told him that if he refused to tell me anything else about her relationship with my husband that she would sign the divorce papers and let her husband move where he wants. I cannot blame her husband for wanting to move forward and finish his divorce. All this has taken so much out of both of us. But this just proves that they are together. My heart is broken. I feel so defeated right now. To make matters worse my husband has had our son around this other woman everyday that they are together. I feel myself slipping so much back to were i was in the beginning. And I dont want to go that way so I pray. I pray that the lord will hold my head up and push my fear away. These days are the darkest yet. I know that it is not right now that I can see in God's will for me to reconsile with my husband. He has shown me that at this moment. I know my husband needs to be right with the Lord to save himself. I just feel so lost right now. I prayed and went to church last night. I spoke with the recovery group and felt the lord moving in to me while we prayed together. I do not want to dispare but its hard not too sometimes esp when our son is with his father. I read Psalms 6 1-17 this morning and try to see this. Will the lord bring down my enemies like he did David's? Please pray for me to stay strong in my weakest moments. I want to move forward but its sooo hard sometimes..
A psalm of David.
1O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your wrath.
2 Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.
3 My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?
4 Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.
5 No one remembers you when he is dead.
Who praises you from the grave [b] ?
6 I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
7 My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
they fail because of all my foes.
8 Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the LORD has heard my weeping.
9 The LORD has heard my cry for mercy;
the LORD accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed;
they will turn back in sudden disgrace.
Psalm 7:1-17 (New International Version)
Psalm 7
A shiggaion[a] of David, which he sang to the LORD concerning Cush, a Benjamite.
1 O LORD my God, I take refuge in you;
save and deliver me from all who pursue me,
2 or they will tear me like a lion
and rip me to pieces with no one to rescue me.
3 O LORD my God, if I have done this
and there is guilt on my hands-
4 if I have done evil to him who is at peace with me
or without cause have robbed my foe-
5 then let my enemy pursue and overtake me;
let him trample my life to the ground
and make me sleep in the dust.
Selah
6 Arise, O LORD, in your anger;
rise up against the rage of my enemies.
Awake, my God; decree justice.
7 Let the assembled peoples gather around you.
Rule over them from on high;
8 let the LORD judge the peoples.
Judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness,
according to my integrity, O Most High.
9 O righteous God,
who searches minds and hearts,
bring to an end the violence of the wicked
and make the righteous secure.
10 My shield [b] is God Most High,
who saves the upright in heart.
11 God is a righteous judge,
a God who expresses his wrath every day.
12 If he does not relent,
he [c] will sharpen his sword;
he will bend and string his bow.
13 He has prepared his deadly weapons;
he makes ready his flaming arrows.
14 He who is pregnant with evil
and conceives trouble gives birth to disillusionment.
15 He who digs a hole and scoops it out
falls into the pit he has made.
16 The trouble he causes recoils on himself;
his violence comes down on his own head.
17 I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness
and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.
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