I am filled with frustration and shame. There is something that has been bothering me for a long time. I am scared to ask prayer for it, because if I ask and it doesn't happen, I will feel like a big loser, and it is hard to admit that I even have this problem!! I may not even have the courage to come back here for awhile until the answer comes because of fear of being put to shame and being "attacked" by others. God said He will give grace to the humble. Turmoil and demonic attack is what I am facing right now.
I am 34 years old and never had a girlfriend before. I am still a virgin, and have never kissed a girl romantically. I have desired a girlfriend since I was 18 years old. I believe in saving sex for marriage, but that doesn't seem to be forthcoming. I need God's help to get to the point that I feel okay with myself, even if I never get married or have a girlfriend, because of what Christ did on the cross. That was the easy part to admit! Here's the hard part:
After these 16 years of waiting for a girlfriend and wife, I don't have a female peer who can freely give me a hug of their own will (in real life, not on the internet) even once a year! 2 years ago I did have a hug given to me by a female peer, but she gave hugs to other people as well at midnight on New Year's Eve. It wasn't "my own". I have been waiting for 3 1/2 years for a female peer to freely offer me a hug. I am asking prayer that Jesus Christ will provide a female peer to hug me and, even somehow, by His grace, a girlfriend and wife!