Please continue to pray for me--as I have already told someone else, I have a wall built up. It's like my own personal Jerico and I'm trying to keep out any other possible pains. I know that my relationship with the Lord has not been what it used to be, nor is it anywhere near what it needs to be. I just feel as though I'm afraid to talk to Him--and it's the silliest fear one can have. It's like this is the one subject you don't bring up because you know there will be a fight--I just wish that finding the One didn't feel like chasing a mirage or some sort of fantasy. I really want the person the Lord has for me, but I have no faith that he exists (the person that is, not the Lord). I realize that it has to start with me--I have to step up and make a change.

I think I'll pray tonight--just stop putzing around like I have, feeling sorry for myself. Thank you for your advice, prayers and support. I'll be in touch.

Lost Love